I've decided to try an idea I've been kicking around, to make these blog posts more of an interview. I asked Liz a few questions, and what they sent back was so incredibly beautiful and perfect I've decided to just post it verbatim. I'm going to throw in my shameless plug tag now, and say if you want to check out the full set go back my Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/hellapositive because backers get exclusive access to all the outtakes. Okay, plug over, everything that follows are Liz's words, unedited.
I'm agender and go by they/them pronouns, but my friends and I like to joke that my "true gender" is "cryptid" (my nickname is Lizard and the lizard person jokes happen often). My identity is queer. I'm demi-panromantic and asexual. Sometimes I'm sex positive, but only with people with whom I've had some sort of strong romantic feelings. Generally I'm sex-repulsed which throws off people as I love lingerie. But I generally view lingerie as something I enjoy outside of sexual contexts—I wear it because it makes me feel good, not for anyone else. I'm also extremely monogamous in all regards which seems to be on the way out, but I try not to let that discourage me from finding someone I can be with longterm.
What makes me feel sexy isn't something I've thought about much. I find that I feel the closest thing I can think to sexy when I'm looking into the eyes of someone to whom I've mutual desire and attraction. Beyond that, I've started to feel really beautiful without my makeup done and with my natural hair all over the place. I feel amazing when I don't wear a bra under my shirts. I think my brand of sexiness is being myself, for myself. I was bullied a lot growing up and had a lot of complexes about various parts of my appearance, but I've found that those are the thing I'm learning to love most about myself. Self-love and acceptance are beautiful. And I think beauty is what I feel more than sexy.
My favorite part of myself is my passion for everything I do, hobbies and otherwise. Comics, cosplay, LARPing, D&D, gaming, fashion, makeup, reading, art, design... but also my friends, my chosen family, and social and political activism. I'm an Angry Queer Intersectional Feminist Killjoy and I wear the title with pride.
Being agender and queer and femme is so important to me. Femme erasure and femme hate is far too common in the queer community. While I have androgynous days and alter my appearance to align with that as needed, it's important to me that femmes are acknowledged as valid and deserving of love and support. There is no one way to express queerness. Femme isn't weak. It's not conforming to patriarchal ideals. Femme is a powerful thing. I'm just as queer in lipstick as I am in combat boots—and I often wear both simultaneously.
I've a friend with a tattoo on her arm that says "Speak your truth" and I think that's the most important part of my life—living authentically. Having the freedom to be myself and be safe, affirmed, and loved. I'll keep working hard and speaking up so one day we may live in a world where we all truly feel we belong.
I fail to see how making one's body visible diminishes their worth and personhood—how it tarnishes their intellect or self-respect. It's a body. We all have one. I like mine a lot (apart from the occasional gender dysphoria-related feelings) which is something an insufficient number of people can say.