Ren

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My name is Lauren, Ren is good too (and preferable). She/her/hers. I am a goofy and chaotic awkward queer femme person who most identifies as something like demi-pan or demi-bi-sexual. I am usually almost completely monogamous. I enjoy dancing, drinking, playing board games and d&d, watching movies, travel and spending time with my friends, as well as meeting new ones.

I recently broke up with my long-term partner and was feeling a bit lost after. My anxiety has been terrible and I’ve been feeling pretty low for the past couple months. But I’ve been taking the time to figure out how to be my best self, and what is important to me. I cut my hair, now I’ve dyed it purple, and have plans to get more piercings and my first tattoo (things I’ve wanted to do for a long time but was told were not attractive). I’m making steps to be who I want to be both externally and internally.  I scheduled a shoot with Braden to try and connect with my sexy side. It is usually hard for me to get out of my head due to heightened anxiety, and it did take me awhile to open up / be playful with the shoot (which is what I wanted). But Braden was great at throwing out ideas and going with my suggestions. My favorite shots are probably in the shower because I was just being silly and being myself. I felt most confident during those shots and I think that shows.

I’ve never felt very sexy. I’ve carried a lot of guilt with me all my life, and have for a majority of time been disconnected with my sexuality and my body. I’ve always been an extremely giving person even at my own expense, and have had to learn to ask for things that I need and walk away from people who take advantage of that. It was only over the past couple years that I really started to explore my sexuality and let myself be OK with however I felt and however I wanted to be. I feel sexiest any time I can get out of my thoughts and just be in the moment and confident with me, when I am surrounded by people or friends at a dance or a concert, or when I am wanted by a partner…

I’m still learning who I am and what I like and what I want and how to be present and confident and connected to my body… It’s been a process and I’m still working towards owning my identity as a slightly kinky, very loving and sexual person, letting go of any guilt and just being kind to myself and learning to love myself first.  

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