Since sex is my full-time job, it's given that my approach to sexuality is a bit different than others. Sexuality sometimes takes a much more pragmatic approach.
Some days, I contemplate giving power point presentations in lingerie to clients on the do's and don'ts of sexual hygiene.
"Do NOT use the same finger to stimulate my vagina and my ass, unhealthy bacteria travels! 1-2-3 REPEAT after me. Switch CONDOMS when you switch partners. Okay, next slide.".
Other days, the news headlines are fill my email inbox with the consequences of sex work's criminalization in the States- fellow sex workers getting hurt by predators, or getting arrested or assaulted by the police. If it's not explaining the other two, it's navigating the discourse that sexual labor can be both empowering and exploitative unsurprisingly like any other type of labor. It's enough for me to pour a bottle of wine at the end of the day when I think about the complexity of this job.
The heavy stuff aside, there is something wonderful about being a fantasy who embodies the materiality and physicality of cooking and art. For the sake of space, I'll just elaborate on cooking for now. Cooking draws from the five senses- the sound of a garlic sizzling on the pan, the heady smell of a seafood stock, the blossoming caramel on a creme brulee, the hot dance upon the tongue of spicy marinated beef, and softness near the stem of a ripe orange.
Sex should be the same way. We apply the 5 senses to assess the pleasure of a dish, let's bring this approach to sex. I feel sight and touch are usually the senses we engage the most, but why leave out hearing, smell, and taste? For example, hearing. Over the years, I learned I love the sounds of sex- me, my lover, music if there is any, and the cliched creaking of the bed springs. I love hearing how I sound during a particularly amazing orgasm or three, and I love hearing the sound of my lover tease me. So take some time to think about which senses you typically engage during sex, how you engage them, and the ones you engage less. You deserve to make sometime for yourself. You're never too old to learn new tricks as the saying goes. Though if you feel like a sensual exploration would be better with a sensual chef by your side, you know how to reach me :)
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