Hi! My name is Alyssa. I’m 22 years old. I am female, an introvert at heart, a cat person, a dancer, bisexual, occasionally kinky, and thoroughly pleased by the presence of and participation in many forms of loving relationships. I have my undergraduate degree in Theatre Design & Technology (read as: I’m a badass lady carpenter who likes to build and make things, who loves people of all sorts of identities and bodies, and who just loves to love, in general).
I work as a carpenter/rigger at a few different venues. Being a female in a predominantly male-oriented industry comes with its challenges, and makes me work to maintain my own balance of masculinity and femininity in a way that makes me happy. Some days, that means working extra hard to remind myself that I can love using power tools and building things and welding while also embracing the fact that I’m very empathetic and sensitive. These qualities do not make me weak, and in fact are often extremely valuable in an environment where they are sometimes scarce. Still, honoring the things that make me who I am in a social environment that is often confused by my presence as a (sometimes) feminine woman is difficult. But I love having the chance to show others that my duality of femininity and masculinity is wonderful and effective and important and something to be celebrated.
I end up feeling sexy when I’m able to embrace both of those aspects of myself. Simultaneously appreciating my muscular structure and my natural curves. Dressing up in something feminine and doing my makeup after a long day of creating worlds from plywood and 2x4’s. When I can be myself in all aspects I feel super confident, and when I can tell that the confidence shines through to others, it only adds to how sexy I’m feeling.
I also feel really sexy when I’m connecting with someone else. Being able to feel that certain level of trust, openness, and being completely seen and appreciated by another person on all levels is such a good feeling. For me, these things can take place verbally in vulnerable conversation, emotionally (I often find it difficult to open up consistently without a lot of conscious effort), or physically (like if I’m opening myself up to someone else and giving them some control in the form of using bondage or other fun things).
I love that I am all of these things. It’s definitely been a self-love journey to get to this point, but I am so happy to look in the mirror and have so many favorite parts of myself. I love my sense of humor, my empathy, my patience and ability to be kind, my hugs, my incredibly expressive eyes, my mischievous smirk, my scar on my left shoulder blade that reminds me that the human body can heal and do incredible things, my strong legs and arms and body that lets me do all of the fun things I want to do, my sexuality and all of its wonderfully weird quirks, my boobs, my butt, and that curve at the small of my back that I honestly didn’t realize was so great until I saw the results of this set. Seriously, go check it out, it’s fantastic.
This is just a snapshot of me and who I am today in this moment, but I hope it’s a great reminder that embracing and loving yourself is awesome and so important. Bodies change and relationships adapt and sexuality fluctuates, but there’s always value in taking that time to be kind to yourself – to love yourself for everything that makes you who you are today and all of the things that got you here.