I’m Miro, a mostly straight hedonist living in Berlin. I’m an artist and I have started shooting a bit of porn, which has so far been an amazing and humbling experience. I say mostly straight based on the numbers more than anything else. So far things have happened to click more often with girls than guys. I might be more picky with guys, and I might also still be dealing with some good old American internalized homophobia. The term “mostly straight” also seems to attract less attention from people skeptical about the idea of bisexuality.
But to me, sex has a lot more to do with more along the lines of kink than gender. What interests me most about people is what they’re into and the energy they give off. As a person on the autistic spectrum, communication has always been a big issue for me. I remember the word “behavior” getting thrown around in countless teacher-parent meetings after whatever latest social fuckup.
Long story short, I am so grateful for all of the tools and structure BDSM gives to human interactions. Things like rules are extremely comforting and help point me in the right direction for how to act. Otherwise the rush of all my overwhelming emotions can be hard to translate into words and body language. For me, power exchange is also a crucial way to show what you’re willing to put on the line for the relationship. Words, kisses and soft touches can be beautiful and powerful, but putting my life in someone’s hands and letting them make me scream, cry, bleed, and drip with desire (maybe with an orgasm as the cherry on top) helps me feel connected to them on a deeper level. Something beyond what words can express.
It’s also really important to me to be able to feel vulnerable. To let go of the standard level of competence, independence and confidence that you’re expected to have in your day to day persona. To look up at the person you love and feel small, a little afraid, but so painfully wide open to the whole world of sensations around you, to the comforting blanket of nurturing love and control that your top has over you. Letting go of years of pragmatism, cynicism and resignation.
Reality bites, and I think it’s a critically neglected part of modern adult life to create our own safe, alternate reality within a scene or a power dynamic. For example- I’m not actually a kitten. I’m not small and I don’t have fur. But when I’m in that headspace, and I have my collar and ears and tail on, I can express myself in so many other ways than what you’re normally permitted as an adult in human society. I can be silly. I can be deadly sincere, holding my head tall and proud. And I’m happy to walk down the street in my pet gear to show people that something like this is totally fine. Not to mention how proud I am to have such an awesome Master.
So uhh what makes me feel the most sexy at the moment is when I see this little tragic tender softening in my Master’s eyes when she sees how owned and desperately in love I am. Sometimes just from her holding my head or neck. I also love wearing latex and being objectified and used as a toy, especially in front of lots of people.
All in all I guess I’m just incredibly grateful that I live in a city where I can express so much of who I am and I hope to spread the message that being a complete freak is totally fine. And it’s worth it to be as out as you possibly can. Life doesn’t wait.